Re:New

Obviously I've allowed myself to lapse in my pursuit of this project.

This is far more difficult than I'd thought it would be. Remembering to take my camera with me, making time every night to blog, taking care to edit the pictures. It's just more effort-full than I expected. But most good things are.

So today I renew my commitment to this project. I've known I wanted to begin again for a while now, but I hesitated, looking for the "perfect" time. The first of the month. A Monday. A Saturday. A day of some significance. I mulled over the day of symmetry when it would be pretty to refresh my commitment. I've concluded that such days, if they exist, are rare. Today is the best day to begin again, because it is here now.

This is a year a want to remember. A week ago James and I went skiing for the first time. Two days ago we took engagement pictures with the lovely Mary Anne Morgan. Tomorrow I have a fitting for my wedding gown and am shopping for bridesmaids dresses. These are precious days. So many once-in-a-lifetimes rushing by me. Ha. Thinking about it, that is both why I set out on this endeavor and why it is so difficult to complete. But it is more than worth the difficulty.

Today is a day of re:new. More realistic goals. More realistic strategies. A time to pick up where I left off and start again.

March 5 - Worked today. Rainy day full of missing James and smiling while entitled people angrily glare at me for not anticipating their every need. It's been a day of grappling with stress, plans, and impatience. Today has not been a pretty day, not a day full of the joy and love of which I love to write. But it's just one of those days. These days are necessary. These days grow me. These days remind me of how blessed I am when I feel it, of how blessed I am in this moment even though I can't feel it. Tonight I've busied myself with "to-do"s, laughing and crying through the strain with my beloved. Today is a day of renew.